Self-introduction

Subject: Self-introduction

To Brad Franklin Blackstone

Dear Mr. Brad,

My name is FAN QIANZI, and I am writing to introduce myself to you as a student in your Effective Communication class. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Clean Energy. During my 3 years of learning engineering, I found that it is very enjoyable for me to solve the problems and design the project with my friends. We can apply our knowledge to the hands-on work and find out more beyond the class.

I think my strength is I can communicate with others in English fluently compared with my peers in China. For example, when I was in Shanghai, there was a foreign man lost at MRT station who cannot speak Chinese. So I talked to that man in English and helped him to find his way. He was quite shocked that my English is so good, and with my help he knew the right direction and place that he wants to go. However, there is also weakness about my oral skill. Sometimes I speak with wrong grammar. Every time before I speak, I have to change my sentence structure from Chinese to English hence I will make some mistakes. That will lead some misunderstanding during the conversation.

There are two goals that I want to achieve after I complete this module. One is I want to improve my grammar, both in speaking and writing. Another goal is I want to equip with professional writing skills that can help me with my study and future career.

Everyone is unique in this world. I think my personality and attitude make me different from others. Compare with my peers in China, I came to Singapore to study without my parents and I am able to take care of myself and my life. I am very independent.

Thank you.

Best regards,

FAN QIANZI

Comments

  1. Brad Blackstone19 September 2021 at 00:41

    At a glance this looks very interesting, Qian Zi. Thanks for sharing!

    I'll give more comments once your blogging buddies have done so.

    ReplyDelete
  2. WenQiang19 September 2021 at 09:25

    Dear QianZi,

    Thank you for this self-introduction letter. It was nice to see someone who has a few similarities as me. Having read it, I am in awe of your adaptability skills. Overall, the tone of the letter is friendly and polite.

    I look forward to working with you in class.

    Cheers,
    WenQiang

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. QIANZI28 September 2021 at 09:01

      Hi WenQiang,

      Thank you for your feedback. It is also nice for me to know someone who has same experience as me. Look forward to working with you in class too!

      Delete
  3. Zhen Xuan22 September 2021 at 22:02

    Dear QianZi,

    From your letter I can tell that you are a confident person as you are able to converse with a stranger in a language that is not your main. I have the same issue where I will change the sentence from Mandarin first before switching it to English thus the sentence structure will turn out to be weird. Overall the letter is well written and smooth to read.

    I look forward to be working with you in the future class.

    Your sincerely
    Zhen Xuan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. QIANZI28 September 2021 at 09:03

      Hi Zhen Xuan,

      Thank you for your feedback. I notice that you mentioned you have the same issue as me about switching Mandarin to English. Hope after this module we can sole this problem and improve our language skills.

      Delete
  4. Aceline23 September 2021 at 05:54

    Hello QianZi,

    I've read your introductory letter, and I found it to be interesting. I like how you mention a fair share of your communication strengths and weaknesses with examples - not too much of strength content over weakness and vice versa. I feel that there are some areas you can improve on, but do correct me if I'm wrong:

    1. "..., I found that it is very enjoyable for me to solve the problems and design the project with my friends. We can apply our knowledge to the hands-on work and find out more beyond the class." - I feel that "the" in "to solve the problems and design the project" is a bit redundant. Instead you can write it as "to solve problems and design projects".

    2. "I think my strength is I can communicate with others in English fluently compared with my peers in China." - I think that since you are doing a comparison, you should add "more" in between "English" and "fluently", and also the sentence structure is a bit funny here, so I think it will be better if you can put it as "I can communicate with others in English more fluently as compared to my peers in China."

    3. Your sentence "Sometimes I speak with wrong grammar." and "That will lead some misunderstanding during the conversation." seems a little bit awkward to me.

    4. "Another goal is I want to equip with professional writing skills that can help me with my study and future career." - I think it should be "Another goal is that I want to be equip..."

    All in all, I think this is a pretty decent introductory letter, and I'm sure by the end of this module, you will improve a lot ! Prof Brad once said that language can be improved with practice, and I hope you will remember and follow it.

    Regards,
    Aceline

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. QIANZI28 September 2021 at 09:18

      Hi Aceline,

      Thank you for your detailed feedback! I really appreciate your effort about pointing my mistakes and providing examples. I had read through them and will edit accordingly soon!

      Delete
  5. Casimir23 September 2021 at 11:26

    Hi QianZi ! Before I start off, I have to comment your bravery for travelling alone to Singapore to pursue your studies. It is never easy to leave your comfort zone and adapt to a new environment. Besides that, speaking apart from your native language is not easy too because you will not have the confidence to do so but I can see the confidence in you so another thumbs up !

    Moving on to your letter, there are some mistakes but it is alright. In particular, some of the sentence structure does not seem right. One example will be; "We can apply our knowledge to the hands-on work and find out more beyond the class." I would suggest that you can consider changing it to, "We can apply our knowledge on hands-on work and discover more beyond what was taught in class."

    Do let me know if you think otherwise !

    Best regards,
    Casimir

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. QIANZI28 September 2021 at 09:06

      Hi Casimir,

      Thank you for your detailed feedback. I've taken note of them and I will edit according soon. Thank you for pointing it out!

      Delete
  6. Brad Blackstone26 September 2021 at 23:04

    Dear Qian Zi,

    Thank you for this detailed letter. We learn quite a bit about what makes you unique while you also cover the basics of the assignment. I'm delighted to learn that you have been using your English language fluency to not just your own advantage but also to help others. At the same time, your appreciation for project work and solving problems will go far in the upcoming project for this module.

    In terms of language use, many of your peers have given feedback. You can also benefit from taking note of the following:

    1. verb tense
    -- ...there was a foreign man lost at MRT station who cannot speak Chinese. So I talked to that man in English and helped him to find his way. He was quite shocked that my English is so good, and with my help he knew the right direction and place that he wants to go. > (inconsistent tense use) ?

    2. sentence structure
    -- Every time before I speak, I have to change my sentence structure from Chinese to English hence I will make some mistakes. > (comma splice)

    We all look forward to learning more from and about you this term.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. QIANZI28 September 2021 at 09:40

      Dear Professor Brad,

      Thank you for taking your time to read my letter and providing detailed feedback. I will take note of my verb tense and sentence structure. I believe after I complete this module I will improve both my language use and writing skills. I will practice more in the future.

      Thank you again.

      Best regards,
      FAN QIANZI

      Delete

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